I Wish I Could Smell the Mold

Today, we looked at another house to flip. “Nicole, you just got another house.” Yep, this was my wiseacre husband’s idea to maybe pick up another one. Why have one flip house when you can drown in debt, deal with painters (the spawn of the Devil) and lack patience with humanity with two?

So, this house, wow. My house has to hand over the first place award for countertops. I mean, who doesn’t want this tile in their dark, crowded, spooky kitchen:

 It wasn’t even installed evenly. You don’t really need flat countertops, right?

Now, let me back up and show you this kitchen.


Dark, suffocating and, BONUS, the tile is also the backsplash. See up in the photo how the desk is a totally different countertop? Just, stop it.

You can’t see it, but next to the desk is what I assume to be a pantry. I say, assume, because when I started to open it, I swear, I heard some sort of hissing sound and I slammed it shut.

I assume the hiss was the cat ghosts that haunt this house. Haha, you think. NO. The cat smell was SO overwhelming, kitty spirits have to be wandering through the house. I am very allergic to mold (which this house had) and cats (and ghost cats). This is the first time I wished I could smell mold because mold would have smelled like roses compared to the cat ghost smell.

I thought you had to have a degree to be an architect. Aparently not, because this house sure lacked one. This house activated my ADD “eject” button. I had to pop a Xanex because of the anxiety this house inflicted upon my senses.

 This is the master bathroom. Two different sinks were smooshed together at different heights. OMG. Why?

Then, the master bedroom…

Yes, that is a curtained death balcony in the master bedroom. What is below it?


THE FAMILY ROOM. So, basically, the master bedroom has NO privacy.

What it lacks in privacy, it makes up for in creativity because right off the masterbath is a rickety spiral staircase that leads you down to your very own, very public, Japanese soaking tub.

After all this, I was still willing to, maybe, consider it until this:


Horse wallpaper.

Suck it, wallpaper. You’ve got nothing on my duck wallpaper.

Not even a close second.

The last bedroom was obviously the Hukilau party room.

Dave opened a closet and found this sweet relic:


Lucy asked what it was before Dave opened it!!

I had to escape because the ghost cats were making it hard to breathe.

I know the saying, “location, location, location” but I just couldn’t do it. It’s too bad, because that view was pretty nice!

Happiness in a Win!

We did it! We won the bid! The awesome house with the amazing flooring…is MINE! And I will revel in all of it’s glory!!!

I am SO stinking excited to start on this home. She is so beautiful and just needs someone to bring it out. I love her already, so I am all in!!!

On a different note, if you would like an 8×10 framed original of this flooring:

Or this flooring:

Or this one of a kind (thank heavens) wallpaper:

Put in your request. $49.99 + shipping. 😜 Boom. It will be the conversation piece at your next gathering. You’re welcome.

Lucy Loo’s Room

Lucy decided she wanted her room painted. Again. See, her favorite color has changed so pink is sooooo out.

Here’s a before photo of her room when we bought it.

Yes. Be jealous because that is green carpet AND, suprise, wallpaper. There are actually two other surprises in this room we found in the closet and then after we tried to take off the wallpaper. The carpet was apparently so freaking awesome that the old owner decided they HAD to have it on every shelf (about fifteen) in the closet. Yes, carpet on the shelves. I’m pretty sure the price of the home reflected the awesomely carpeted shelves.

Next, once we started taking off the wallpaper I was like “Huh…this sucks but isn’t as bad as the kitchen wallpaper!” I got down to the paint on one wall when I brought in the painter to show him how far I had gotten. He laughed. Hard. And said, “Yes, but the original wallpaper under that paint isn’t going to be as easy.” Say what again? More….wallpaper?

The wallpaper in this house was a gift that just kept on giving. I have given my time, patience, blood, money via a marriage therapist…and on and on. Once the wallpaper was off and the drywallers fixed the holes I made while trying to remove the wallpaper and the holes that might have been made by someone punching the wall while taking the wallpaper down, the room was ready for paint.

The window in Lucy’s room didn’t open. Because the original owners didn’t believe in escape plans for their children, and some days, I totally get it, but at the end of the day, it needed to be up to code. So, we installed casement windows in her room and all the bedrooms. We also cut down the big bush in front of her window. Her room has an amazing view of the lake which was obstructed by the bush. Once we cut it down we were amazed that view had been hidden!

Lucy wanted her walls pink with white polka dots. The thought of painting polka dots made me want to punch more holes, so I purchased some online. We put them up using very precise tools, lol, just kidding. I totally just eyes the distances.



And she loved it so much! For eighteen months. And then, the love was gone. So, I piled her stuff from the floor on to her bed and moved her furniture to start preping the walls to paint. AGAIN. 

She wanted the whole room painted her new favorite color, turquoise, and I wanted to be able to walk into her room without going insane, so we compromised. We both still wanted polka dots on the walls, though. 

I am eager to share her new room with you, soon!

Best Flooring, Ever!

Have you ever seen something, while looking at houses, that is SO BAD, it just becomes SO GOOD and right and it kind of makes your day? No? Just Dave and me?

When we first saw photos of the home that we currently live in, it was like a wreck you can’t stop looking at. It was so bad that it just became perfect and we laughed until it became physically painful to laugh anymore. When we actually saw the home, in person, we laughed until we had tears in our eyes. And we both knew we HAD to buy this home.

My current home still wins the award for best toilets, sinks and tubs.

One bathroom’s fixtures were tan, another bathroom had mauve fixtures, navy blue in the next, purple in the next and the last bathroom’s fixtures were black. It was awesome. We couldn’t give them away and we really tried. I seriously love this photo.

One house we looked at a couple of years ago held the #1 spot when it came to the best flooring we had ever had the pleasure of seeing. Every room had a different color of shag carpeting and the colors were freaking awesome. Lime green, mauve, and rainbow bright are among some of them. I really wanted to buy that home  but it was in an estate and the family was emotionally delusional about it’s value.

Today, that house had to pass the #1 position to the newly crowned winner. It wasn’t the carpet that stole my heart. It was the lenolium.

I, still, can’t believe my luck. This is like, the Holy Grail of flooring. Lucy is so trained now, she was like “MOM! MOM! It is so perfect! Are you going to cry? Because I might!”

Then, we went down the hall and, that’s when I found out that dreams really do come true.

Oh, I haven’t laughed like that since the shag carpet explosion. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any better, I held my phone’s flashlight up to the wall and, well…..

Boom. THIS IS THE WALLPAPER! Yes. All over the walls. What the heck is going on in this room, you ask? There is a freaking party going on in this room! This is what a #1 looks like folks:

And before you even have to ask, hells yes we are putting in an offer to buy this pot of gold!

I really hope we get this!!

Turning Over the Keys

Closing. Yes. I cried when I walked out of the flip house the last time. I designed that house the way I would want it if it was for me. And I am already missing it. Did I mention that ALL of our kids begged us to sell our current home and move into that one?

I AM beyond happy happy that the new owners absolutely love the home. That is what I hoped for more than anything. Ironically, our kids know each other. Indy is a VERY small big town. They are awesome people and I can’t wait to have boating parties with them!

Congrats on the new house, new friends. 

We looked at three new properties today. So, on to the next one!

So Sorry not Sorry!

I have been very busy lately so I’m sorry I have not followed up from my last post. But, I am not sorry because the delay  was because I have been getting our flip house ready, packed and cleaned. WE SOLD IT and we close tomorrow! 

Let me say that this house has made us rethink flipping super expensive homes. I think the next house will be WAY less money. In fact, we are looking at a few tomorrow!!

I am SO happy this house has sold to a family that LOVES it and will cherish the home and make good memories in it. It was a labor of love. Today, when I did the last of the cleaning I felt a twinge of jealousy that the buyers will OWN the house and I will probably never go inside again. 

I will miss this house but, it’s time to move on.